Being a man means many things, most of which I haven't even begun to grasp. What does it mean to be the head of a house? What does it mean to love my wife as Christ loves the Church? What does it mean to be a man of strength yet clothed with a heart of compassion? And the questions go on.
The responsibilities of being a man are never ending and the burden is honestly more then I can bear. Praise God their is grace offered to me through Christ. He is the only way and will be the only way I will ever be the man I'm called to be. It's overwhelming to see where I am now and where I need to be but once again my soul cries out and the sweet mercy of God is there ministering, teaching and rebuking my needy heart. One of the greatest wrestlings of a man's heart is an issue of adequacy....Do I have what it takes? It's a question that pushes men to be aggressive, power hungry jerks or passive, pansies that get blown away by a gentle breeze.
I've always found myself being in the latter category, passive pansy, paralyzed by fear, unwilling to move because I'm afraid to fail. Now here is where many people would stop and look back at their childhood and begin to blame their parents for being how they are. You know, I'm not going to do that. My passivity and lack of godly leadership in the past has been birthed from one thing and this is....my sin. It was my sin that made the decisions, that thought the thoughts, that ignored the commandments of God. Did my childhood effect me? Yes, you better believe it did. But I refuse to blame my father or my mother for my own sinful decisions. Could they have done better, taught me how to be a man? Of course, but I'm so tired of everyone shifting blame. Men, we need to take responsibility for the decisions we've made. That is the only way we can truly repent and BE the men God calls us to be. That was a bit of a tangent rant. Anyways.....
In the past year or so I've begun to look at manhood more seriously, asking questions, reading Scripture and books, and crying out to God for wisdom. "Oh, God teach me how to be a man!" Because you know what? I have NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING! Haha, tis true my friends. In the midst of my crying out, our faithful God has answered my cry, refining me. I am confident that this refinement will fashion me into the man I long to be and that my future wife needs me to be, so that we can bring glory to God as we live out Ephesians 5:22-33 together. Man, that is exciting to think about. I get all fired up every time I read that Scripture.
So what has He been teaching me? Well, I shall save that for a future post.
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I think many people find themselves in the passive pansy state of mind simply because it's easier. But just because it's easier definitely doesn't make it more right. Awesome post as usual... Also, I liked what you said about the shifting blame thing... that is SO true.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful to hear your passion for manhood Brandon! I know for me, as I've grown in my passion and desire for biblical womanhood, the passion for manhood has grown in me as well. It's so refreshing to hear of young men who may not have all the answers, but are striving towards being men of God!
ReplyDeleteHave you ever read anything by Eric Ludy? I think you would love his books. His passion for biblical manhood is extremely contagious and inspiring.
Keep up the good work and may God bless you!